And Jan says …

And Jan says:

“You are living in a bubble.”

Living in a bubble is

Enriching and fragile
at the same time —

and it must be.

A bubble can burst at any time
and is held together by tenderness and love,
softness and “care for” the other,
ourselves

and our relation.

Zitta 7/7/2014

3/7-12

I have so many unused tears
I have laughter in excess
I have love flowing over
And smiles to melt hearts

I have pain to fill buckets
Sorrow weighing me down
Depths to drown my worries
And fearlessness to open my chest

I am, I am, I am
and always will be grounded
As I fly up high in the daring night sky
I open as a flower

Dream

Dream:

I am the mother of 3 newborn babies,

# 1 = Mix elephant/camel
trunk/humps

# 2 = Human child
Blonde curly hair,
Sitting up

# 3 = Mix Elephant / kangaroo
Trunk in pouch – for comfort
Eyes closed,
after 2 minutes eyes open
they are bright, staring and shiny

All 3 babies are app. 10 inches long.

# 3 runs away – wants to play a catching game with me
I scoop “It” up, carry “it” tight.

“It” starts eating of me
The other babies crawl onto me and do the same

People walk by
I mime to them
about my dilemma
They don’t understand

I am being eaten up
by my own creation…


Zitta 2023

Visualization

Paavo and Brynn are sitting in the couch
in deep conversation
(Larry and I are in the kitchen)
I offer – and make – them each a cup of tea

Then Lia comes – with her sewing machine
Sitting at the kitchen table
she sews a piece of clothing – for me
Then makes herself some tea
and joins the others in the living room

Nick calls, says he has a 3-day weekend and is almost here
He arrives – gets some tea
and join the others in the living-room

The talk becomes of Didde and Jan,
The 2 who are missing
Didde steps through the door
She helps me with some paperwork, sitting at the kitchen table,
Then joins the others in the living room

Nick calls Jan, who has just finished baking Christmas Cookies (Learned from Moster Lise)
Nicks ask him over,
he comes
We talk, drink tea and eat cookies
I make a cucumber sandwich for Larry (who doesn’t eat cookies)

We all sit around in the living room
relaxed, together, and Happy

I am so grateful for all of them – all of this

Later: I go outside
To connect with nature
To Be without Doing….
It is VERY hard



Zitta ……… 1/8-2023

White Dress

You gave me a white silk dress
I wore it with Glee – it became Me
I “spilled”, and now have a dirty spot
The spot became Me

You discarded the dress
Threw it in the corner – like a rag
That was Me

We laid there
The dress and I
Till one day
We were needed
And were pulled
out of the corner
Washed and Ironed
– As good as new – almost
Was that Me?

The spot became invisible
Was it still there? – Me?
Had it faded with time?
Or was a patch sewn over it?

Was that Me – Underneath?


Zitta….. December 2022

I am strong

Dying is the one thing
you can’t share

I am strong
Like a bulldozer – strong
I move
Despite all odds
I go forward
I live
…..But is this “force” living

Larry is “weak”
He is so strong – “he dares to be weak
He is

I am living because
I am living despite

He is just living


Zitta 2021