It seems
death comes slowly
overtakes you
secretly
not suddenly

you get used to it
it gives you time
– time for what?

do you
are you
ready
will you ever be
are you always
ready

death is “the end”
the end of a trip
the end of a love-affair
the end of you
the end of what you thought was “you”

There is always more
more you
more life
more life without you

all the life
I don’t live
just pours out of me
to be lived
to be felt

I don’t know how to die
I’ve never done it before…


Zitta 2021

You are scared
that by cleaning up
your drawers
you will find the roaches
in the corners

I am scared
that by cleaning up
my drawers
I will find emptiness
– clean and orderly emptiness

I am scared
that if I speak
I’ll never stop
and will lose all
– we both will

I am scared
that if I speak my words
the feelings
my feelings
will get lost
in the words

I am scared
that being unhappy together
is better than being alone

I am scared
that if I open my heart
– and eyes
– to the tears
we will all drown

Zitta 2021

– And Larry says:

“If you need to know everything ahead of time
It is dead by the time you know it.”

Zitta – 2021

In the night
Half in a dream
The lights are flickering
Like Northern lights
Across the sky…

I find
The lights
0nly to be
Trucks
Fixing the road
In the night
So as not to disturb

I rest
Knowing that all is well
And that we are being taken care of

Larry sleeps
Like he should be
Like a baby

Life!

Just thinking...
In school,
"Grades" can only be used for the norm (if such a thing exists).

Norm (must mean?) "average" to be a useful word.
Who is normal?
No one,
I think.

Yesterday Marie turned 30.
Tomorrow we will celebrate her (going to Dina's).
I love her - 
I love them -
I wish to be just that - love

Maybe that is the norm?

Can you grade Love?


Zitta, January 2021

– And Larry says:
“Your hair looks so pretty”
– and I think:
“Who will buy my hair – for a bit of air?”

and he plays his music –
and I feel…
All that I don’t dare feel
– and I die – slowly

Zitta 2021

– and then there are words

words to be seen
words to be heard

words as colors
words as lines

words as birds
flying

words as opposite
always

Never alone
Never whole
Alone – in pairs

Zitta 2021

Reading about all the riots,
Tearing down statues
etc.
Who is to blame?
No one, or everyone?

What is justice?
A life for a life?
Paying for your forefathers’ sins
Or for your own?

As long as we describe each other
In pairs of opposites
Black – white
Good – Evil
We will be just that –
unreal puppets
who are only a description of reality.

Zitta 2021

Paavo, my youngest son gave me a very nice compliment the other day:
Mom, I recently got into politics.
I wondered why, since it didn’t seem you had raised me with such awareness , or – even had any political views of your own.
Then it dawned on me:
You didn’t speak of your views – you lived them.
Thanks for that Mom.